The Devil Wears… Zara?

credit to owner of imagery

Let’s talk movies. More specifically, let’s talk about The Devil Wears Prada 2. First of all, the name could use some work. I’m quite sure Miranda Priestly herself wouldn’t approve of such unoriginality - and neither do I.

Secondly, was I just a little bit hurt when I opened my inbox and saw I hadn’t been miraculously cast in the hottest movie of the year without lifting a finger? Absolutely. Hello? Do you not see me over here?

I love Andy as much as the next girl, however let’s be clear, I would never mistake Cerulean for Blue. Because yes, “they are so different”. Put your obnoxious laugh back in your tiny cubicle, Andy.

The Fashion Tragedy

Let’s get to the real issue at hand: the frightful fashion. The movie has officially started filming, and thanks to TikTok (the unofficial leak machine of modern entertainment), half the outfits have already been plastered all over my feed. I feel like I’ve already seen the entire wardrobe, and from what I’ve seen? It’s giving more The Devil Wears Zara than Prada.

Case in point: Miranda. (image 1 - below left) The woman who gave us crisp Chanel, Prada, structured coats, and a constant Louboutin heel; is now wrapped in a purple chiffon low-cut blouse (chiffon??), an awkwardly coloured beige-yellow trench coat, and a pleather brown skirt. I audibly gasped, because WOW is that a monstrosity. 

Lets cut the crap, we all know Miranda is Hollywood's take on Anna Wintour: the woman, the myth, the micro bob legend. Imagine the frenzy publications would have if Anna Wintour stepped out wearing this! She would have to publish an article about herself in Vogue to apologise.

No shade to Meryl Streep - who somehow suspiciously looks equally young as she did in 2006 - but even her icy white haircut and killer bone structure can’t save this look. The fabrics are giving Shein sample sale, and the pleather skirt looks like it would self-destruct on contact with a chair. And that trench? I’m actively suppressing my gag reflex.

all credit to owner of imagery

Andy, What Are You Wearing?

Let’s move on before I faint. My apologies for not issuing a trigger warning earlier.

Andy. Andy. Andy. (image 2 - above middle) Where are the rest of your trousers? The ankles are out, the proportions are off, and this is not the 19th-century. The baggy t-shirt is tragic, the cut is confusing, and the addition of heavy silver chains? My god what on earth. Maybe she's hanging onto chains in case she needs to suppress Miranda's spoiled twins. Onto the next. 

This third image (image 3 - above right), I have no words. Just lots of tears. The colours, the material, the shape. The hat hints at a holiday, and she’s clearly modelling a ‘Runway’ dress bag, which suggests a work trip.

One can only hope she finds her fashion sense at baggage claim. Because if 2006 Emily saw this outfit en route to Paris, she’d rise from the grave in protest. Don’t worry Em, as soon as Miranda sees this, she’ll be sending Andy home, and you’ll be on that flight to Paris faster than you can say “Paris fashion week”

I could go on and on, as you could most likely tell by my passion for the distaste encountered by these outfits. At this point I don't care about the plot of the movie. We just need to sort these outfits out pronto! 

The Spoiler Epidemic

But beyond the fashion, there’s a bigger issue here to address: spoiler culture. Let’s talk about the real villain here: TikTok leaks. A cheeky teaser? Fine. But showing us half the movie before release? That’s creative sabotage.

This film has been anticipated for 25 years. Realistically, how can we truly get excited for a movie when we’ve already seen key characters, outfits, scenes - all via pixelated iPhone footage may i add. If anything we’ve been done a disservice by the leaks, not a favour.

Yes, we’ll probably still all watch it. But the suspense, the reveal, the cinema of it all won’t be as spectacular as it would if it had the same level of secrecy as say, Area 51 - or stranger things season 5 - they kept that on lock for the whole time! That’s what generates box office buzz, and it’s what The Devil Wears Prada 2 desperately needs. Right now, that mystery is missing. 

Andy - pre self destruction - credit to original source

Why This Matters

Now of course the whole reason I'm this emotionally invested is because The Devil Wears Prada isn’t just a film, it’s got a huge hold on the fashion industry, and is one of the most renowned fashion films ever.

It would be a lie to not acknowledge it as a partial reason for my love for the industry, as I'm sure it is for many people around the world. For many of us, it’s THE fashion film. So when the sequel looks like it’s heading toward a budget version of its former self, I can’t help but sound the alarm.

Here’s hoping it’s all an elaborate ruse. That the leaks are misdirection, and the real looks are tucked away in garment bags labeled “PRIVATE” Because the world doesn’t need The Devil Wears Zara. We need Prada back. In all her cold, polished, designer-wrapped glory.

with love, mimi

xox